I love women. Women are so beautiful to me. Of course there are some that aren't so easy on the eyes LOL...but...there is just something about the essence of a woman that is so sexy to me. The softness of her skin, the sculpture of her face, the sultry eyes...even a woman's walk sometimes is so graceful and mesmerizing. Now..let's get this straight...I am not a lesbian. Could never be one. I could never have a life relationship with one...I need a man for that. BUT.. I do find myself physically drawn to women at times. I often wonder if this is wrong....biblically anyway. Now, I don't always think of sex when I look at women. Sometimes, I just have a desire to be close to them....feeling them next to me.
I think the most beautiful women are the ones that have curves and a bit of thickness to them. The kind that everything about them just screams WOMAN... those are the kind that I want to touch when I see them. There is just something so inviting and warm about a curvy woman. Maybe it's her softness or the way her body moves. The smell of her perfume, her hair...her skin...pouty lips... just delicious to me.I believe I would have loved living back in the days when women had "hand-maidens". LOL I would have loved to have several that would bathe me, dress me, brush my hair...sleep in my bed when my "lord" was away. LOL Unfortunately that doesn't go over well in this day and age. I think that would be called "Polygamy" or something. HA
I do feel very conflicted about how I am attracted to women. Being a spiritual person...I often wonder what God really thinks about it. I know the Bible speaks about homosexuality as something he hates. It even says there is a place in hell for homosexuals. I scratch my head sometimes though because it seems to talk more about male homosexuals than women. I have asked God before about it. And I'm not quite sure I ever got an answer. Or maybe I just didn't hear Him. SMH... I dunno... It is frustrating though, because I have had those desires in me for as long as I can remember. A psychologist once told me it was because of the sexual abuse I went through as a child...that there is some psychological satisfaction or comfort that I probably get out of women in that way. Not sure. I have asked God to take the desires from me numerous times.... yet it remains. Who knows...maybe reincarnation does exist and I was a man in a previous life or something! LOL
hmmmmm one likes what they like, cause we are all drawn to what we are :)
ReplyDeleteI think we all find something attractive in members of the same sex. Women find other women sexy, desirable, pretty...it's what we do men. Men don't do that with other men. I see women I enjoy being around and like their company, but no, not as a relationship, I need to have that man there (maybe someday...sigh). But as a survivor of sexual abuse I often wonder...what if? As I know you do too. What if it never happened to us? How would we look at these things today? We'll never know, but we can be blessed that we can feel, enjoy and embrace who we are and are not afraid to be blessed by the beauty of our sisters too! Hugs and love Precious Soul!
ReplyDeleteOkay, this is coming from a lesbian. THERE is NOTHING wrong with what you feel. Stop thinking there is something wrong with you! It is what it is. Move on. Deal with it. I'm here to tell you, it's OKAY! You act like it's wrong. It's NOT! Stop making it seem as though you are LESS THAN because you have these "feelings." At least you are being true to yourself! Gah!
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